History of the Munch…In the Beginning

Originally written by shadow, posted July 03, 2003.
(With thanks to Argent (Hal), Miss Vicki (keeper of the flame), nadja (the first list Master and font of history), Schwab (great memories) and the Wonderful STella, who started it all.

(Author’s note: In just the 4 years since i first researched and wrote this history, the amount of revisionisim and historical inaccuracy made it imperative to footnote and provide original postings on ASB as verification. As long as ASB archives are available, this information is accessable to all, abeit in a lengthy process, direct interviews, and e-mails).

Munches are traditionally considered a way to get like minded people together in a public venue for light socializing, usually on week nights , and require nothing more than showing up.

Week nights have become the chosen times for such events so that they do not interfere with Dungeon “Play parties”, usually held on Friday and Saturday nights.

Munches have also evolved into the main venue for welcoming newbies into the scene in a non-threatening environment that is easily accessible and requires no knowledge of any protocols, scene history or any “letters of introduction”.

Munches are the one place unsure new people can wander in and find “family”.

The ideology of having a “munch” has spread like wildfire across the planet as WIITWD becomes more available to larger numbers of people (thanks to computers and the Internet), and the event has mutated far beyond it’s conception principals.

With that in mind, it became apparent that some kind of “primer” or “general ground rules” should be set out for new munch hosts and hostesses to use as a tool in their toy bag of social skills.

Nothing in life is set in stone, this primer included. Take from it what you will, change what you need to suit you, your venue, & your community.

HISTORY

In these times people are accustomed to having instant access to adult information via the web. With the flick of a search engine, you can find munches all over the place, mailing lists and web sites filled with BDSM activities, events, even National conferences. Kink activities abound in every city across America, even as Civil Liberties laws are ignored or mutated by conservatives, and no matter what, like minded adults will congregate for entertainment and social interaction, and keep trying to create venues where we can do this easily, without fear of retribution, job loss, or social distress.
Adult organizations that have information about WIITWD are easy to contact, and the question of anonymity is given deep consideration. This was not always the case.

Sometime in the early 80’s, when the “Internet” between Universities and Military establishments became more accessible due to a proliferation of computer terminals, the first message boards were set up about sex.

Sex questions- sex answers. People wanting to know that they were not alone started using the anonymity of the keyboard to tell the other voices in the dark about what they did- or wanted to do- and exchanged information. Alt.Sexuality.org ( also known as alt.sex.bondage and referred to as ASB) was the largest and most used. Even today, it’s archives of postings are some of the most comprehensive and widely used informational records on the net. Eventually, spamming caused them to move to soc.subculture.bondage-bsdm.

Most users from that time forward had access via their Universities, and the University with the best access, the largest pool of users, and the congregational point for kinky people, was Stanford. The personal computer, microprocessor, and a host of other innovations were being born in the Palo Alto area, and it drew lots of young, hip, adventurous people from all across America.

Now, any given munch has the policies and objectives its organizers set for it. This may, and often does, include being a low-key, comfortable place for newbies to meet some BDSM people, and the munch announcements often say so. But it did not start with that objective, and it does not always have to be that way.

The very first munch, according to several who were there, was a gathering of 13 folks at the “Flames” coffee shop at El Camino Real and Lawrence Expressway in Santa Clara, California. There was no play at this first meeting, it was merely a matter of sharing a meal and meeting each other face to face, discussing what could be done to further filling the void these people felt in the sexuality and their lives.

The original idea for a mailing list started there as well. Originally it was called BABES – Bay Area Bondage Enthusiasts Society, and later BAST, Bay Area Sexually Twisted. The first operator, nadja, set up the list and worked with the continuously growing Kink community. This was the first place that many had ever had to actually talk in real time about their sexuality, desires, fantasies, and the darker aspects of BDSM. It also encouraged some conversations that were sexually explicit about illegal activities. Nadja eventually had to expel a member of the online community for the kinds of topics that could jeopardize the entire group. That incident created a permanent rift in the on line community that was growing.

Members grew, and people wanted to meet face to face. Many people were referred by friends to the list, and the list membership was the core of the southern Bay Area Kink community. These lists were discontinued when the Communications Decency Act came into effect, and the BurgerMunch list was split into 2 separate types of on line communications. An announcements only list is now run by Vicki, and the discussion list was handed to Marcie and Laura Lee who renamed it as Frenzi.

After that first meeting in Santa Clara, a new venue was found and announced. The Munch concept would be the “BurgerMunch”. STella announced it to the regular posters on alt.sex.bondage.org. and posted to the new discussion list that she would be at the outdoor patio seating area of Kirk’s Steakburger joint on California Street, Palo Alto, California, at the same day and time every week, and she hoped others would join her. This has been dated, according to legend, as April, 1992, althought some question the exact month. Vicki is fairly certain that the date of the first BurgerMunch was 23 April 92. Reserch has shown it was prior to Jun 1 1992, as others were beginning their own versions by then based on what they had heard was happening in Palo Alto. *(Footnote 1,6).

At first attendance was spotty, sometimes it was just STella, but as more people became aware of the BDSM community on line, more people came to see faces attached to the names they had become familiar with reading on alt/sexuality.org. The community of WIITWD was being born.

Postings show a lively regular event by June 1993. *(Footnote 5).

By Sept. 14, 1993, munches (sometimes erroneously using sTella’s term Burgermunch) were running in Portland and Vancouver, and was one was announced (Seattle SouvlakiMunch) for Seattle *(Footnote 3).

People joined the lists on line and learned about the BurgerMunches which were announced weekly; many of the members on the lists were not Newsnet users and had not been involved with the alt.sex.* hierarchy news groups.

Over time, more people came, the “munch” was talked about, and the event grew. After a while, the whole outdoor patio area , directly adjacent to the sidewalk in front, and fairly open to the public in places, had been taken over by BDSM people one evening a week on Thursdays. With half a decorative cinderblock wall, and a lattice work overhang, it was not a secure place to meet or talk about WIITWD.

Stella once defined a burgermunch as:
“a BurgerMunch is when somewhere between three and fifty perverts, some of whom bring vegetarian food from a nearby restaurant, meet at my favorite burger joint (Kirk’s Steakburgers, 361 California Avenue, Palo Alto, 6 pm) to talk about everything including bdsm, to plan future scenes and parties, and, now and then, to share a little pain right out there in front of ghod and everybody. Do check us out if you’re ever in the area. Any non-holiday Thursday of the summer (this winter, for the rainy season, we may move elsewhere, if I can find a good place). ” *(Footnote 7)

The BurgerMunch was a success. It became pretty “out.” People would show each other marks and bruises, or tattoos, cuttings, brandings, and they would show each other toys. After a while, there were floggings going on in dark corners of the patio. The police were called, complaints including used condoms in the shrubs.  *(Footnote 2).

For a while, someone brought a portable massage table and would give massages.

By July, asb. posts openly noted that scaring the vanilla people (“mundanes”) was part of the fun of the burgermunch. *(Footnote 8).

Those activities, the noise levels up and down the street , and a determined feeling of some of the regulars to deliberately bother the vanilla crowd eventually doomed the burger munch. Kirk’s was no longer happy with the loud crowd (many of whom quit ordering food there from their limited and admittedly less than stellar burger and hot dog menu, and either brought their own (sushi was popular with the vegetarians) or didn’t eat at all), and lost all of their regular clientele on Munch night due to the overt sexual activities of the BurgerMunch group. Some felt even the staff was intimidated by the groups activities.

When the entire alternative lifestyle group was eventually kicked out of Kirks in October 8, 1993, *(Footnote 1, 9), many of them went with STella and started meeting at the park down the street, *(Footnote 11) while the rest decided to meet indoors, evolving into the idea of a “regular meeting place for everyone- old and new- to meet”. Vicki became the eventual sole owner of this event.

The attentions of the police cars now loitering around the area, especially the park where sTella had moved to, along with some growing philosophical differences, as well as the colder nights, all fueled this change in locale and focus. Burgermunches were still being held outdoors there well into December 1993 * (Footnote 12).

The second group that had split off from the idea of public play began munches at Antonio’s NutHouse about 1/2 block away from Kirk’s. Reminders of regular meets were out by Jan 1994 *(Footnote 13).

STella asked the second group not call their meeting a BurgerMunch because that was her name for an event where public play was encouraged. STella did not trademark the word. It was used as late as May 28th, 1994  *(Footnote 4, 14, 15).

Her group eventually was forced out of the park by a combination of cold weather, changes in city policy about park closing times, and STella’s personal wishes. That group of players has moved into a more private venue, and disappeared from the public history of BDSM, although they were still playing and interacting with the Nut House munch bunch from time to time as late as July 17, 1994 *(Footnote 16).

The group that split off from STella’s (Antonio’s Nut House bunch, eventually known as the Thursday munch or Vicki’s munch) evolved with 2 philosophical requirements, and grew in size over the winter as many joined them in the heated environs of the Nut House.

1. This gathering was not a play party. The open to the public venues were *not* appropriate for BDSM activities.
2. They wanted a non-threatening place for new folk to discover BDSM. The second group felt that the location should be as open (visible) as practical so new folk could observe without “outing” themselves. *(Footnote 17).

Since play was being discouraged at the second group, and STella had asked that the name “Burgermunch ” be hers exclusively and denoted a play based gathering, the second group, meeting at Antonio’s Nut House began to use just ”munch” to denote what they were.

STella was not focusing the BurgerMunch on “newbies”. She wanted to socialize with BDSM people, and to create a situation where they could get to know people in a non-intimate environment. She succeeded far beyond her wildest dreams and will forever be linked with the term “BurgerMunch” as well as founder of the world wide phenomena known as munches within BDSM. *(Footnote 18).

FOOTNOTE 1