Recently, i was asking a Dominant i respect a great deal advice on how i could stop myself from over-analyzing and over-thinking.
His very quick response,
D O N ‘ T
Don’t?! How very Zen-Yoda-simplistic this answer seemed to be. i was taken aback — i have been taking the time to examine it since.
Yet, it suddenly hit me – i think i finally have the simple answer, the basic litmus test for happiness and living in the moment:
Is “this” where i want to be or not ?
Someone i once knew often drilled into me, “Simple questions. Simple answers.” Never more than now does that phrase resonate as i’ve been trying to stop myself from the destructive pattern of picking apart the healthy, and side stepping the negative.
Of course, like most good advice, it seems i’ve been giving this very same answer to people. i’ve encouraged them to look at their current situation, challenged them to stay or to go. Yet, did i hear the same message for myself? Of course not smiles
When i’ve heard people speaking of living in the moment in the past, i’ve typically bristled. Those people, it seemed to me, were either ignoring the past and its impact completely, or unable/unwilling to look forward to steps toward goals or a positive future.
With these sudden (to me) revelations, i don’t see it quite so one or the other anymore.
By answering in the affirmative, “yes, this is a place i want to be,” this does not say the effects of the past cannot be examined, or that changes cannot be made and goals defined. However, it does force a “put up or shut up” attitude. It does not keep me from evolving and growing; the answer to the question can change. A negative response does not mean i have to “leave”, but it does mean i need tomove.
So, here i am, in the right here and right now – is this where i want to be?
i look in the mirror, see my reflection, with eyes that match my mouth’s smile, and i know the answer is “YES”.